Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Saturday, May 17, 2008

anachorismization

2001: A Space Odyssey.

It's fascinating to see old movies made about the future. This was done in the (fifties? sixties?) and while being completely groundbreaking in the central premise, nontheless looks incredibly outdated when you read between the lines. When you look at all the cultural assumptions built in.
2001 is already almost a decade past. We don't have Jupiter missions, or passenger shuttles, or Clavius base. But we do have human-machine interfaces that are generations ahead. Everything is... so much smaller. Buttons. Computers. Cameras. Food trays. Furniture. Everything.
At the time it was made, the movie looked very futuristic because the cultural bias was invisible - like looking at crystal in water. Cultural bias, when seen in the culture it belongs to, is impossible to see. Half a century later, the crystal's changed color, and sticks out like a sore thumb.
Text is HUGE. Displays, labels, buttons... diagrams are 2-color. Every screen is a 14-inch, and large displays are a matrix of multiple screens. With gaps in between to prevent gaussian blur :)

It got me thinking - there always will be some rules that can hold true for all sci-fi for a long time, given where we are now.
1. No artificial gravity. The benefits far outweigh the cost. apart from the resources wasted in terms of energy, look at the wasted space! Walls, ceiling and floor should be interchangeable. Footfall had that right, at least.
2. No large empty spaces. Not even cargo holds. At the max, maybe a net system outside where the cargo containers can be moored; that much empty space is just a waste of air, light, heat. No big roomy corridors, just crawlspaces and passages. No rooms, just bunks.
3. Minimal manned EVA. Everything to be remote-controlled, waldos and VR.
4. VR, VR, and VR. When you're in space, you are the ship. You need to move around inside and outside the ship as little as possible; ideally, the entire journey should happen with you plugged into the ship systems, floating in a life-support tube.
5. No High-speed maneuvers and stunts, at least in the immediate timeline; wastes far too much fuel.
6. Aliens will not be hominid, and most probably not even bipedal. Probably not organic either.
7. Space war will last days at the very most, and will result in complete annihilation or unconditional surrender, just because each side will have weapon technology so different from the other that any faceoff will be a race to find that one tech that the other can't counter. So 'war' will not be soldiers, fighters and lasers; it'll be espionage, crackers, viruses, and decryption tech.
8. Further down the timeline, there will be only supercomputers talking to each other.
9. Time travel will be possible, but each instant it's done, the time-traveller will be in a different universe. So you can't change your past, just someone else's.
10. Everything will be cordless, wireless, and batteries will never run out.

Unlike my laptop who's dying even as we speak. Ciao.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

what not to do when alone on saturday night

The below activities are perfectly fine when taken separately but together make for a... memorable experience, and not in a good way.
1. Stock up on beer.
It's 8:45 and I decide to pick up some suds to generally relax and pass a pleasant sat evening
2. Don't check roomie's whereabouts.
Fucker has been missing and no clue when back... house deathly quiet... might as well start on my own
3. Download a massive collection of movies
I have 237 movies at the last count, some seen, some unseen but heard of, and it's playing on my conscience.
4. Get drunk
It's 11 PM and I'm fairly high. and bored. Maybe I should start watching some of my movies?
5. Of all the movies to pick, do not, repeat, do NOT select The Shining.
It's midnight, and the house - and the neighbourhood - is deathly quiet. My head slightly blurry. Jack Nicholson slowly going insane in a deserted hotel in the middle of the Rocky Mountains, while his son has this deplorable habit of roaming the hotel alone. Very quick cutscenes of chopped-up bodies. An extraordinarily creepy pair of ghost twin girls. What is it about twins? From The Shining to Ghost Ship, they've successfully creeped me out each time. Even in porn they creep me out.
1 AM, and I'm distinctly twitchy. Keep seeing half-glimpsed flashes of movement out of the corner of my eye but when I look, there's nothing there.
6. Get a 5.1 speaker system.
The music is awesomely creepy, right enough, but at this time of the night and in this state of sobriety, I do NOT need to hear faint ghostly whispers coming from precisely behind my head from the rear speakers.
Now officially too freaked out to continue. Everything's slightly out of whack. The shoes look too long. Beer cans too yellow. Open cupboard too hungry. Speakers too w-watchful. Boxes too full of something I don't remember putting in. Curtains moving in a... wind?
Wasn't that chair in the corner five minutes ago?
It's too quiet. Maybe I should put on some music and

OHSWEETMOTHEROFGOD

It's ok. It's ok. It was just the water coming in the open tap... but the last thing I need to hear at this stage is the sound of something uncannily like a throat being cleared noisily and violently at the end of a dark passage INSIDE the house.

Ok, need to watch something funny. Fast. What do I have? Open the movies folder.

28 days later
Alien
Communion
Constantine
Dawn of the Dead
Day of the Dead
Dracula
Exorcist
Ghostbusters
Land of the Dead
Manhunter
Monster House
Monsters Inc
Nightmare on Elm Street
Predator
Primal Fear
Resident Evil
Saw III
Se7en
The Blair Witch Project
The Descent
The Fly
The Frighteners
The Machinist
The Sixth Sense
Underworld

I have a truly inspiring collection for times like this, don't I?

Have no clue what to do now. Help.

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