Things are never just things

Clearing out a storage space is hard.
If you've been used to moving around, you already have a filter that ruthlessly throws away anything that's not needed any more, unless it has some use or sentimental value.
Things that get used, get used, wear out, get replaced.
But the ones that have an emotional connect - it's hard to see them again, because they're not just things, are they?
A little memory, a little piece of a life that once was.
A little moment in time, inconsequential but for the dreams that rode on its shoulders in the sun, laughing in delight at a bright and happy future they saw coming.
Now the moment lies still in it's bed of dust, crumpled plastic and yellowing paper, fading photographs and retro single... and dreams lie dead, incinerated in the nuclear blast of change, the hurricane winds of time. So destroyed they aren't even a memory anymore, except from the impression they left on these things.
A torn note from the back of a class book.
A receipt, a train ticket, a boarding pass, a membership card.
Things used till they were tattered and lovingly repaired.
Things pristine, never used at all, but bought on the wings of hopes and dreams, waiting expectantly in their sealed plastic covers.

Tiny little inconsequential things that can break you...

Spring Cleaning: Revolutions

Looks like the cleanup is going to happen the way it's always been happening while I was growing up - by taking each and every single individual item in the house, one by one, wiping it down, and popping it into a box. What's left over at the end of it all is dust, dirt, stains, junk, trash, and memories. 

Then all the boxes are picked up, moved a short distance, and as if by magic, a new life begins. One where all surfaces are clean, walls are painted, all your stuff consists only of working, neatly labelled items, and the air is full of pregnant possibility. There are no rules that say, 'put this here', 'this goes there', or 'this is out of place'. Everything is out of place, which is the best place to be in. 

The machine's been overhauled, lightly sprayed with oil, polished, put back together and is raring to go. 

Now I just need the boxes. 

Spring Cleaning: Part 2

The Cupboard

Threw out a whole bunch of clothes - stuff I don't like, doesn't fit, is worn out, and even some stuff that's been lying there for a while... hey, if I haven't worn it for a year, I doubt if I'm going to be wearing it tomorrow. Ethnic formals wrapped in bags and shoved into deep storage. Ditto, sheets and blankets. Socks sorted by color into large ziplocs. Belts, handkerchiefs, and watches in their own individual plastic trays. 

The Den

Do I use even one of these 2 beds cluttering up the place? No? Then why not use one as storage space for the bike? Transfer mattress, dump all of R's gym stuff on the window-set and bike goes up on the box... immediate space. Need to dump some of that gym stuff, hasn't been used at all... 

But... it's feeling like a losing battle. No matter how much I try, the essential mess - the clutter still comes through. All the lofts and deep storage is stuffed to bursting, cupboards full, shelves full... and there's still, so many things everywhere... crowding me, disrupting... have to move on. Have to find a better way to deal with this. 

Spring Cleaning: Part 1

The Blog Sidebar

Gone. The malfunctioning blogroll, the useless subscribe options, the ads, the logos, all the cool cute stuff. I don't miss it. I barely remember what was there or why I even had it... mostly useless. Some experiments, now dead and done. Mostly, extremely cringeworthy.

Haloscan

What started this? I think it was - Haloscan. After two or three years of ignoring buggy code, I finally got down to it and wiped it. Lost some comments, but who cares.

I felt light. I felt... freed.

Torrents and Games

I left the PC off last night. Ferelden can take care of itself for a while. No torrents either. I've barely started seeing the stuff I've downloaded. What's still coming in, can wait a little longer. In fact... maybe I should just leave it off.

Went for a walk instead. Listened to music. I like this feeling.

Life is too complicated, too messy. The circumstances will color perception. The junk outside will infect my mind. Has infected my mind.

It's time... to exorcise.

Spring Cleaning

I, am in, a spring-cleaning mood. 

I usually let it finds its outlet in

• Cleaning up my room
• Getting the bike serviced
• Formatting my hard disk
• Updating my CV
• Changing flats
• Going on a holiday

But this time... I want to do more than just that. I want to do all of the above. And more. 

Dangerous times. 

Feel... heavy. Weighed down. Too many things. Too much to worry about. 

Ballast. 

The trick to never have any regrets is to never look back. If I take an axe to the ropes now... I will need to remember this. 

If, of course, it comes to the axe. I need to backup first. 

What the hell - it's good Feng Shui anyway. 

Watch this space. 

Upgrade!

Finally, after much trepidation, I migrated my blog to the new Google templates. Surprisingly easy. I was terrified that all the special widgets I'd built in over time - sitemeters, polls, badges, blogrolls - would somehow just disappear in a puff of logic, but I managed to keep all of them.

Also found an unexpected benefit; catharsis. The act of seeing all the junk you've accumulated, putting all those code chunks into a notepad, and then sorting, organizing, and throwing away the unnecessary stuff - I feel cleansed.
In fact, it's been a good day for cleansing. I jogged, I (semi) cleaned my room, serviced my bike, formatted my HDD, washed my clothes, and sorted out my blog. My psyche feels lighter.
Maybe I should get a haircut as well.

But it's interesting, isn't it - I don't know how many of you out there are packrats like me, but I have a pathological aversion to throwing out anything. And I mean anything.
Plastic packet? Will be useful for throwing rubbish.
Beer can? Use it as an ashtray.
Paper napkin? Keep it for when you have a runny nose.
Torn T-shirt? Can make a decent duster.
Bit of wire? Computer cable organizer.
I swear, I accumulate so much junk, I'm surprised I can still get into my room. So this - clearing - is all the more dramatic.

But I can't even make a habit of it - to be effective, I guess it needs to be really massive. Event of the season.
Once I'm all done, I'll take a pic. Frame it and hang it - See? I lived like this once too!

At least, until the next cleaning.