Sunday, January 14, 2007

New House: The story so far...

Rajkumar (Royal Prince) society belives bachelors will corrupt their morals, proposition their daughters, tempt their wives, offend their traditions, and hurt their sentiments, apart from throwing loud immoral parties.
They're right, but it's offensive to think our intentions can be read so easily.

Deepali (The Wall of Lights) had a giant earthmover parked in front of it, shovelling up tons of stinking black muck from the canal.

Guru Kripa (The Mercy of the Spiritual Leader) had so much furniture I could barely get into it, forget the other two and all the stuff we were planning to bring with us. Rats wouldn't be able to move within.

Oasis had a dug up courtyard and several carcasses of rats, entrails artistically draped over the landscape.

Pratap (The Glory) had one bedroom opening into another, and that was the only access. Privacy redefined.

Embassy is so close to current roomie's ex-girlfriend's house he would experience spiritual anguish just standing there.

(Unknown Building) did not let us in. The door was opened a crack, from where an eye of an elderly albino Parsi lady was seen and we were quaveringly queried, "Rent? This house? Who said? Who is renting it?" When the broker indicated me - me looking as respectful, nice, morally upright and harmless as is humanly possible - the Eye let out a screech and yelled "to HIM??!" and slammed the door shut. Kinda unnerving.

Model Town (The Town Of Models) was shown from outside, with the broker enthusiastically describing how pretty and beautiful the interior is, and how I can attain Nirvana by merely imagining it's spacious dimensions, beautiful colors, good furniture, etc etc. Wish we had the key to the damn place, though, for that dream shall remain forever a dream.

Shreeji Dham (Respected House) had a beautiful view of a ravine filled with garbage and plastic bags thrown from the slum opposite.

Sagar City (Ocean City) had an approach road filled with razor-sharp stones and suicidal slum dwellers throwing themselves into your path as you negotiate a 25% slope on loose footing around a blind curve.

With such a brilliant range of options, how can we ever miss getting the house of our dreams?


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