Friday, March 03, 2006

life is surreal

Moving really puts life into perspective, man. makes you really understand that all you believe, all you take for granted, is just so much loose change.

9 AM
when you begin with a terrified wakeup gasp when you realize that the movers will arrive in 2 hours and half your stuff - not the big things like fridges and TVs, but the little things like the stuff in the fridge and kitchen stuff (I never realized what the fuck I am doing with 3 bottles of oil, a bottle of acid, 2 large sauce bottles, a disinfectant, rice, atta, 2 packs of salt, lime cordial, orange juice, potatoes, onions, and a giant bag of coal. (Like I said, don't ask me what it's doing there, how it got there, or what possible thought went through my head while getting it)
All this will already destroy not only each other but any container we put it in.
Add 5 more bottles - Old Monk, Smirnoff, Absolut, Royal Stag, and RC. All with exactly a half-inch of liquor left. I have two choices.
I can either carry in those bottles clinking like a boozehound or I can finish them off and do the shift roaring drunk.
12 AM
Shift negotiated successfully. We celebrate with a peaceful relaxed lunch.
3 PM
slightly too relaxed, I guess. The 3rd beer was a mistake.
6 PM
woke up. let's see... I need to pay the broker, clear out the junk from the old place, call the contractor to repair the windows etc in the new place, get it swept out... and oh yeah, almost forgot, unpack my worldly possesions from 25 indistinguishable cardboard cartons.
7 PM
sold all rubbish in old home after losing one kabadi walla and locating second. Still amazing amounts of crap lying around.
8 PM
paid off broker after abortive trip to ATM and realizing I forgot my wallet (with ATM card) at home.
9 PM
rescheduled dabba. contractor to repair windows is missing in action. called him and he was drunk. tipping him for the shift was a mistake.
10 PM
cable installed. Yes! we have entertainment! This guy puts porn on the cable channel late night. I am happy.
10:30 PM
collecting deposit from old landlord (cheap terrified bastard)
CTB - "I have been giving houses on rent for twenty-seven years and I have never seen a disgusting mess like this in my life! You should have cleaned it before leaving! It was your duty! You should return things in the condition they are given to you!"
Me - "Duh. Uh-huh. Mm. Gimme the damn check!"
So the CTB gives me the deposit back in 3 separate checks, no Idea why.
11:30 PM
Realize there's no drinking water. tramp out again, search and find shop and buy bisleri. Also order in a chicken biryani. aaahhhh...
End of exhausting day... and my life is still wrapped in cardboard cartons.
1 AM
find clothes for next day
2 AM
find soap and toothbrush
2:05 AM
shower, brush, and go to sleep on pile of cardboard, thermocol, plastic, clothes, and what in the morning is discovered to be the DVD player.
Next day
Deluged with work. Just when I plan to relax, I discover my new landlord's dead. No reason given why or how.

So technically, we're illegal squatters and can be evicted at any time. Now I can truly sleep in peace...


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